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I had to laugh 
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Post I had to laugh
I saw this on aol news. 11 year old daughter sends a birthday card to her father.
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/10 ... 62236.html


Fri Oct 09, 2015 1:19 pm
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Post Re: I had to laugh
Pete wrote:
I saw this on aol news. 11 year old daughter sends a birthday card to her father.
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/10 ... 62236.html

Haha :lol: :lol:

Bet he felt better that he was pictured near the end.


Fri Oct 09, 2015 1:47 pm
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Post Re: I had to laugh
yep! its a birthday greeting you really do not want. Still at 11yrs its quite sweet.


Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:39 pm
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Post Re: I had to laugh
I would have been more worried at the veiled threat.

"Mon and dad you are lucky to be alive." :lol:

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Absit invidia.


Sat Oct 10, 2015 1:16 am
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Post Re: I had to laugh
Califer wrote:
I would have been more worried at the veiled threat.

"Mon and dad you are lucky to be alive." :lol:

Haha true - :roll:


Sat Oct 10, 2015 8:25 am
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Post Re: I had to laugh: Not all fun and games at Dr. Geezer's Clinic
My boyfriend emailed this to me. I am sorry to say I do not know where he got it, but I know he did not come up with it!

Here it goes:

Subject: Dr Geezer's Clinic

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said:

"Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor Young who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine,
thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ??"
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Aaagh !! --This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and leaves, but ... he goes back after a couple of days, figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back . That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily again. But still comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!!!!"
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so ... Here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)
Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"

Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place,so it doesn't take much to tick us off.

ENJOY YOUR DAY !!======

Dr. Geezer


Sat Jan 16, 2016 8:55 pm
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Post Re: I had to laugh
How to give a cat a pill ... and a dog, too


Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.
As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.

Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.

Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.
Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away.
Apply Band-Aid (a plaster) to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed.

Get another pill.
Open another beer.
Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer.
Fetch bottle of Scotch.
Pour shot, drink.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.
Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect.
Toss back another shot.
Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
Take last pill from foil-wrap.
Tie the little @!!@#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table,
find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed.
Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet.
Be rough about it.
Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Consume remainder of Scotch.
Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye.
Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill:

Wrap it in cheese.

(Submitted by Dr. John Delack, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan)
Found on: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC372253/ Feb. 2015


Sat Feb 06, 2016 9:18 pm
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